Q: How can I help my child avoid drug abuse?

There are several important things you can do to help ensure that your child does not become drug dependent.

• Let your child know in very clear language that you do not want him or her to ever experiment with drugs, or with liquor before the legal age of 21. Do not assume that your child knows and respects your viewpoint on the danger of drugs if you have never told him or her what it is in plain language.
• Be especially certain to do this if your child has a parent, grandparent, uncle, aunt, brother, or sister who is alcoholic or drug-abusing. If your child has close relatives who are chemically dependent, the chances of your child also becoming dependent increase considerably. Both you and your child need to be prepared how to handle this possibility sensitively.
• Let your children know clearly what your moral values are and you expect theirs to be. They need to be taught these things directly – being a good example is important, but insufficient. Tell them what is right and what is wrong, as you see it.
• If you drink, do not do it in front of the children. Do not ask them to open a can of beer for you. Do not give your child a sip of your drink. Do not offer a drink to your child—not even at holiday meals—if he or she is underage. Do not believe that you are helping your child by "teaching" him or her how to drink; studies in this city show that this starts them drinking earlier, and the earlier a child drinks, the greater the chance that the child will become alcoholic or drug-addicted.
• Set limits for your children's behavior and have clearly understood consequences for failure to adhere to those limits. Your children needs to learn that if they don't do what is expected, behave badly, they will get swift, appropriate, and certain punishment. Children need to learn that there are consequences for their actions. Kids who are excused by their parents and not corrected when they do something wrong never become adults.
• Talk openly and honestly with your children. This does not mean that you have to be their buddy. It is far better to be the kind of parent whom a child can trust with his or her feelings. Respect your child's feelings – there are wrong actions, but not wrong feelings. If you were ever involved with drugs or alcohol, tell your children, and tell them about the consequences for your life. Be up front.
• Offer your child positive alternatives to hanging around. Kids need to be busy in wholesome activities. To find places with good programs for kids, check with your school, your house of worship or a house of worship in your neighborhood, your local police district's youth office, the Police Boys and Girls Club, Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts, and with the local recreation center or the Department of Recreation. If your child doesn't seem busy enough, check to make sure that he or she is doing all required homework. Check to see if the teacher suggested additional homework for extra credit. If so, make sure your child does it. If your child complains, tell him or her that a child's job is to do schoolwork as completely and as well as he or she is capable of doing. Don't accept anything less.